Adios Ya'll

We're in St. Louis right now. It's 11:12 PM and I'm STILL nursing a hangover from last night, but I'll get to that soon. First, let me catch ya'll up on the past few days.

Don, Sam's dad's childhood friend and our extremely generous host, had beer waiting for us when we got to his house. Dos Equis is fantastic. Now then, he took Sam and me out to dinner at a hole-in-the-wall Mexican restaurant, which was delicious. I had one of the best burritos I've ever eaten. The next day, Friday, was gameday for us. We went to the Texas Rangers game, and it was one of the best ball game experiences we've had yet. First, Don's company donated four tickets to us...in the 17th row directly behind home plate. It was a gorgeous view. Sitting there, seeing the entire field in perfect view, and recognizing every pitch reminded me why I love baseball. I've been to so many games recently that the novelty wears off sometimes. But not on this night. Baseball truly is a beautiful game. All right now, enough of that crap. Moving on...

Don and his wife Kelley couldn't make it to the game with us, so we scalped the other two tickets to some Twins fans. It was like finding extra money in your pocket that you didn't know about. Needless to say, that's a sunk cost. That money was as good as spent as soon as it was handed over. We rarely eat or drink very much at games because it's expensive. But at this game, we were able to treat ourselves to dinner. I had a hot dog and a few Killian's. Sam skipped the hot dog, and had a lot of Killian's. For once on this trip Sam was drunker than me. Music to my ears. Here's how I can sum up the Rangers game: Free tickets. Free parking. Free (in my mind) food and beers. Drunk Sam sighting. Josh Hamilton hit a towering home run. This was a GREAT game. To all our friends in Texas, THANK YA'LL!!!

OK now, I'll stop with the ya'll since we're out of Texas. Although it is catchy. On Saturday we drove 11 hours to St. Louis. We went to Sam's uncle's house and talked for a bit, then she went to her family reunion and I took the car to Meaghan Pijut's apartment. Sam has asked me a few times how I know Meaghan, and this is tricky, so take notes. Meaghan is the cousin of my brother's college roommate's wife (Adam and Bree). Anyways, I'll just call her a friend. I was worn out after a long day of driving, so one of the first things I said to Meag was, "I'm getting shitty tonight." Let's just say that I did not disappoint. First we went to Matt's (Meaghan's brother) house. For the first time in 2+ years I indulged in cold, refreshing Natural Light (only it was effing warm!). It tasted just like I remember...warm, watered down piss. Matt's friend Jordan and I went undefeated in beer pong. I've still got it. Who knew? Meaghan's friends were at bar, so we went to meet them there. Let me just say that it didn't take much convincing to get me there. Meaghan uttered the two phrases that immediately send adrenaline through my body..."dive bar" and "karaoke." The rest of the evening went something like this: Drank too many beers. Took too many shots. (Thanks Matt. I told you I HATE vodka...future hosts please keep this in mind.) Fell in love with one of Matt's friends, or so he says, but who can remember (Allison maybe?). Talked for an hour to some guy who shares Meaghan's birthday. Sang Piano Man with Meaghan and Julia. Asked a 300 pound man to do a duet with me (we didn't get called, which worked out for the best for Double D's patrons). Walked home. Called six pizza places at 2AM (and no one answered). Which led to...ate cold leftover bow tie macaronis and a plain tortilla shell. That's that last thing I remember.

The Aftermath:

I woke up this morning feeling like I got hit by a train, but I'll get back to that in a minute. There are two beds in Matt's house, and his roommate wasn't in town, so one open bed. I passed out on the love seat. Meaghan was on the couch. Matt was in the recliner. The two beds were empty. I was walking to the bathroom and ran into Matt and Meaghan's dad who was there to pick up Matt to go get Cardinals tickets. My phone was lost for two hours (the first time I've misplaced my phone for more than a couple minutes in my life!). It was under Matt's roommate's pillow! If I was in the bed, why did I pass out on the love seat? Matt opens the freezer and says, "Who put the container of macaronis in the freezer?" That would be me of course. What the hell? I called Mike to tell him a little bit about the night. I muttered my famous words, "I'm never drinking again." Mike's response was, "Did you get hit by the Pijut Train?" Well Mike, in a word, YES. I chugged more than a gallon of water and still felt dehydrated. But enough of my sob story. Life goes on and the world keeps turning despite the fact that I shut down for a day.

We actually had a baseball game to get to this afternoon. We met Matt and Meaghan's parents at a bar before the Cardinals game. I drank water. They were kind enough to bring us St. Louis' delicioso Gus's pretzels. The game was a close one. A 2-1 Cardinals victory, but all I could think about was if I was going to die, if my head was going to stop throbbing, and if my stomach was actually exploding or just felt like it. Basically, I didn't feel so hot. 

After the game Sam took the car back to her uncle's and I went to the Pijuts' for a lovely home-cooked meal. It was absolutely amazing, topped off with some dessert for Meaghan's birthday. Happy quarter century bday Meag! Don't join AARP just yet :) Then, Matt made my day. He walked from the living room into the kitchen with a record, and wouldn't you know it, it was Thriller! We listened to the entire album on the Pijuts' record player and searched through all of their old records. I mentioned when we were in Boston that I really wanted a record player after messing around with Meg's (Meg from Boston that is. Miss you!). Now I know that it will be the next thing I buy, besides food, beer, baseball tickets, and gas of course. I'm back at Sam's uncle's casa now, and winding down to call it a night. We watched Entourage and I'm a little disappointed. First, because I want E and Sloan to get back together. And second, in myself for actually being emotionally invested in a television show.

THANK YOU Pijuts for showing me a fantastic time in the Lou. Matt and Meag, I can honestly say you all got me drunker than I have been on this trip yet. That reminds me, I can't drink like I used to. If I couldn't only get myself to believe that I'd have a lot less problems. As I told you earlier today, I hope that last night stands as the drunkest night of the trip. It will be hard, nearly impossible, to top. Please keep reading and spreading the good word to all your friends. We love having fans!

I'll check back in very soon. We're off to Kansas City tomorrow to see my good friend DRAMA! Until then, stay classy folks.

Catch You On The Flip Side,

Matthew

P.S. Check out this video from last night. It explains a lot.